Letting Go of Labels: Seeing People (and Yourself) with Fresh Eyes

I’ve been reflecting lately on how easy it is to create mental "bios" for the people in our lives. You know how it goes—you meet someone, get a sense of who they are, and before you know it, you've written their story in your mind. It’s like you’ve crafted a neat little summary of them based on a few key moments or experiences, as if that’s the full picture. But people are far more complex and ever-changing than the labels we pin on them. We shift, evolve, and adapt, and the way we show up in one relationship or situation isn’t necessarily the way we’ll be in another.

This isn’t just about how we view others—we do it to ourselves all the time. Think about it. How many times have you told yourself, “I’m just not that kind of person,” or “I always mess up in these situations”? These narratives can feel comfortable because they’re familiar, but they also keep us stuck. By holding on to old, rigid ideas of who we are or who someone else is, we leave no room for growth, change, or the possibility that things can be different now.

What if we approached people (including ourselves) with curiosity instead of certainty? What if, instead of assuming someone will always act a certain way or that we’ll always react the same, we let ourselves be open to seeing what’s actually unfolding in the present moment? The reality is, we are all constantly growing, learning, and shifting. Maybe someone who seemed emotionally unavailable in one context is now capable of showing up in ways they couldn’t before. Maybe you, who once struggled with confidence, are now able to step into situations with more self-assurance than you give yourself credit for.

One of the hardest things about letting go of these mental “bios” is that it requires us to surrender control. It feels safer to know, to predict, to have things locked down. But in that predictability, we risk missing out on who someone has become or is in the process of becoming. And we risk holding ourselves back from stepping into new ways of being, clinging to the idea that we can’t change.

What can you do with this? Here’s something practical: start noticing when you’re holding on to an old version of someone—or yourself. When that familiar story pops up in your mind, pause and ask, “Is this still true? Or am I seeing things through the lens of the past?” It’s a subtle shift but one that can open up a lot of space for new possibilities. Maybe the person you think you know so well has changed in ways you didn’t expect. Maybe you’ve grown in ways that surprise even you.

In relationships, both with ourselves and others, the key is to stay open, curious, and willing to rewrite the story as it unfolds. Let go of the fixed bios, and you might just find yourself surprised at what you discover. Remember, the point isn't to erase the past or act like it never happened. Growth is possible, and we’re not bound by where we’ve been.

Let me know how this idea resonates with you. Have you noticed yourself clinging to outdated stories about others or yourself? How has it impacted your relationships or personal growth? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Pats,
Anya 🫰🏽